Talk about your awkward situations.

 

Your parents split up years ago (or maybe recently) and the divorce was acrimonious to put it lightly. Actually, Dad ran off with his secretary who is younger than you are and Mom wants to cut off his – well, yes, that. Or Mom suddenly decided she was a Lesbian and left Dad for the woman next door and Dad is pitching fits about “those damned gays.”

 

Hey, these things happen. And you, as the dutiful daughter, remain devoted to both of your parents and want both of them there to share you happy day.

 

What is a bride to do?

 

Unfortunately, because we tend not to talk about such things (and certainly don't even want to think about them on our wedding day!), there are few hard-and-fast rules on how to handle this.

 

One hard-and-fast rule is this: Don't put off dealing with it until the last moment.

 

Remember: nothing is ever quite as terrible (or wonderful) as we anticipate.

 

So...the first step is to approach your parents – separately, of course – and explain the situation and your feelings about it. You may be surprised; many couples who have been at war for years will call a temporary cease-fire for the sake of their children.

 

If there are conflicts over participation in the ceremony, things may get complicated. If you planned to have Dad give you away and your mother refuses to come, then you may just have to accept that. It's your day, after all, and should be about you. There may be special arrangements required, such as enlisting the help of a relative or friend to stay close to one or both parents.

 

The main thing: discuss it ahead of time – and be honest about your feelings.